1: Together, establish ground rules - You and your partner should agree on what you are comfortable with before you start engaging in healthy BDSM play; nobody should feel forced into a specific position or as though they don't have a choice. Talk openly and honestly about the roles that each of you are drawn to with your partner so that you both feel at ease and secure when exploring. Consider watching light BDSM erotica with your spouse to bring up the issue if you're uncomfortable bringing it up in conversation but are wondering about their level of interest. Find out how to discuss sex with your partner.
2. Pick a secure word - The basis of BDSM is mutual trust and agreement between one or more parties. However, it could be challenging to tell the difference between joking remarks and sincere requests to pause or end an experience in the middle of a session. Each BDSM practitioner should agree upon at least one safe word with their partner, which can be used by either party to indicate when a line has been passed and a break is required. Additionally, you and your partner can decide on two separate safe words—one that indicates a halt to the action and another that indicates you are approaching a boundary and should back off or change the focus of the session.
3. Generate concepts for roleplaying - Think about some roleplay situations that can assist kickstart the action if you're unclear about how to start a BDSM relationship with your partner or feeling self-conscious. You can play the roles of a boss and an employee, a teacher and a student, a doctor and a patient, or even two strangers to help you distance yourself from the scenario. This can be a terrific method to help you get over stage fright so that you can unwind and have fun.
4: Begin modestly - Avoid investing in a sophisticated rope system or expensive leather gear if you're new to BDSM. Instead, take it slow to determine whether this style of sex play is appropriate for you and your partner. Start with simple BDSM exercises; many discipline or D/s sessions simply need two willing participants and a little creativity. If you decide that hardcore BDSM activities are not for you, a blindfold and simple wrist restraints are practical, affordable devices that you may keep using.
5. Recognize risk - Regarding how to manage risk during sessions, there are two primary schools of thought: the "safe, sane, and consensual" model (SSC) and the "risk-aware consensual kink" approach (RACK). Those that adhere to the SSC model place a strong emphasis on safety and only engage in activities that you and your spouse have already recognised as "safe." The RACK model adherents contend that the emphasis on safety takes away the participants' autonomy to assess risk independently or participate in higher-risk BDSM play because the majority of BDSM activities are inherently dangerous. Those who adhere to the RACK model believe it is up to each person to decide what level of risk and comfort they are comfortable with, making explicit consent all the more important.
6: Aftercare is essential - Partners must practise good aftercare following the sexual experience because many sexual activities—and BDSM sessions in particular—can be physically or emotionally taxing for both participants. Everyone may wind down and process the session by talking, snuggling, and cleaning up together. This promotes calmness, physical wellness, and emotional well-being.