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You Have to Work at Friendships

B

BigMike

I am posting this up as a seperate thread. It is in part a response to some of the things I have read this morning. Some things have been deleted so it is difficult to understand what was in fact posted.

This forum is no different to a pub, club, bar or any other place where people meet. It does have an advantage of being a little more open than most places. I joined the forum to have fun, it is a distraction. It is a place where you can make friends. Like any place when you express an opinion some one will disagree, get over it. Like any other place some one owns the forum and we have to be aware of the rules. I think in reality the member do have a big say on what goes on here. Personally I have no financial interest in the forum but have alway found my ideas comments and suggestions well received.

Getting involved in the forums can be thankless and thing can fall apart at the last second like the debate, I understand that people change their minds for personal reasons.

Like any gathering of people some you love some you hate other your indifferant to.

Here is the thing friendship has to be earned. You have to attract people to you the way you talk to people will naturally affect their opinion. You can not just start sex talk straight away. I feel for a lot of the female members who must get the most stupid emails Ican only guess at the fact that most do not find a guy telling them how much they want to bonk them as being offputting.

If some one does not like you move on. Fighting in public is notthe answer nor will it change their opinion.

I can not understand how you can be here for an period of time and not form friendships. It just seems so easy I am open and honest with every one and I appreciatte the same in response. I am no Brad Pitt nor am I a contender for Mr Universe. I am a conversationalist and I try to post interesting things. I do post a lot to the forums and that way people do get to know a little about me. In all the time I have posted I have NEVER had a nasty email or message left for me. Why, I really dont know but I think respect has a bit to do with things. In all the time I have been here I have never hit on any one. Why, well I am more interested in being able to come and go on the forums with respect. I love the friendships that you can form. If any friendship go on off the forums well that will be nice as well.

Take a little time to get to know people appreciatte that we all are different and have our own opinions. Each of us is entitled to be different .

Well yet again I have ranted on for far too long.



BigM
 
H

hilly

well said BigMike.

a bit long but right to the point.

thumps from me mate.
 
T

twowheels

Totally agree with you mate, if someone says their taking a break, then except it, don't read into it anymore than is said, wish them well and welcome them back with open arms.

Let's not lose site of what 'WE' have created here. Many forums are run by it's members, this is one run by a commercial organisation.
 
V

Vyxxxn

Ty Mike

Coming into the forums for myself is like entering a room, a room of people I feel comfortable enough to be able to express myself the way I feel with non judgement and empathy, a room of people which I do consider my friends, this 4 me is like on others forums I go to, just another roomful of different people diff idea's motivation wateva...at the end of the day I consider them/you my friends, even though I have not had the pleasure of meeting many...I enjoy my time here guys & hope that which I do contribute is recieved well :)
 
T

Trinity

Hi Trinity here. I dont go on the forum often but the time i have spent on it has shown me one definate thing. The forum is exactly like any chat room or for that matter any social occasion. So yes friendships have to be worked on just the same. Even to a greater extent . In todays society people judge alot on looks but a true friendship goes beyond that. The looks may make a stranger easier to approach but if their personality sux then you wont relate to them or be a friend to them. The chat rooms take that away. The friendships start based on a mutual like etc , so it is all about conecting on a different level. And like any thing that is worth having a true friendship should not be regarded lkightly. If it is true and the friendship means something to you then it is no chore to work on it and improve on it. In fact it would be a pleasure to you. Think about it if you cant be bothered working on your friendships then what sort of friend are you.


Just my opinion.........
TRINITY
 
Mrs Langtrees

Mrs Langtrees

Owner & Creator
Foundation Member
Points
481
What a great thread Big Mike very well said.I have seen a lot of posts by regulars who seem to think that members that don't post don't care but I personally think from some of my personal messages that they agree with the majority of opinion and enjoy the read, and if it is said why repaet it.
I really enjoy the forum because ir gives you time to think a little before putting my two bobs worth in whereas the chat frustrates me most times.
I have even learnt to spell a little better and when you get frustrated with our regular guests who don't post remember the wriiten word isn't that easy, but if you do get around to posting even short replies its amazing how quickly your confidence builds up.I have been trying to think of some interesting competions we could organise to help start new members posting but it is the time to organise the winner and deliver our commitment that is hard to organise.
Any idea's would be appreciated
 
M

melly bear

I agree wholeheartedly MA....also, there are a lot of us who have very similar thoughts on some of the topics so it's not always relevant to post something if someone has already made a post that says pretty much what you would have said.

It's interesting how many of the egos which need constant stroking still manage to raise their ugly little heads here too......the written word can be more powerful than we realise and it seems that the egos know just how to make it work for them.

Always great to read what you have to say BM. I've notived that even when it's something which can be construed by some as argumentative, it's still great to read and you accept everyone's responses as individual's thoughts and don't take it to heart.......WELL DONE!!

Ciao, MB x
 
S

spice-me

Big M... funnie you bring up this point,,,

It came up at a friends house the other day how she was very disappointed in a friend she had...We then looked closely at the relationship she had with him... there actually was no real friendship... but rather acquaintance….

Now this funny little word acquaintance… what is it?? We often mistake acquaintances with friends… You see friends know you, know our inner details, cry with you, laugh with you and when you least expect it… they there to help you. Acquaintances, now they strange beasts… they know things about you, but don’t really know you, they will tell people they know you, but they really know only your name… they probably don’t even know your favourite drink or pet hate or even your lingerie size..…. Yet many of us expect to have sex with acquaintances ( well guys do try,,,, and girls do let them!!!) and then feel shock and horror when rejected ( if we even get to pitch at first base) or worse dumped after the hit the home run and yell around the stadium bragging to all of the big-hit they just did!!!

Now we get back to friends… We always told “don’t sleep with your friends, it’ll ruin the friendship,,,, but here I must disagree…because true friends have friendship, know you, chat to you,…. Often want your company or just a chat with no strings attached… funny how acquaintances suddenly just pitch up when they need something, be it money, the loan of the power drill or just your body for a few minutes.., Yip I have found some of my best kissing-cousins are good friends and yes I cross the thin silk line with them, on mutual terms, because I can trust them. Yes back to the big “ T ” word, it’s only found in friendship circles… not in acquaintances..

So back to what Big Mike had to say… I’m here to make acquaintances in general.. people I chat to and flirt with, but out of those a few select will become friends and real friendship will develop to what ends…. Who knows. If some cross the thin silk line, so be it and may it be happy and pleasant for the time of passion and teaze, for those that don’t, that’s also part of friendship and let us still keep the bond going.


Spice-Me
 
S

summer

Summer

Hello Mike,
I think it is great that you can be so fully open with your opinion!
and I agree with you,there will always be people who you will agree with and click with and other's not!but that's where you try to have more of an in look to where they're coming from and why they feel that way?
after working in the hospitality industry their can be more behind the curtain
than what meet's the eye!
Summer.xx
 
B

BigMike

I am glad to see positive comments in reply to this post. Some times I think that people just expect too much for too little effort. This is a great site and I congratulate Mary anne and her dedicated crew. Like wise I congratulate the members of the forum who give this place a sense of community.

The line between acquaintance & friend is really a thin one at times. In a day and age of electronice communication the definition becomes blurred.


What a great bunch of people we have here!



Cheers


BigM
 
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