Rochelle's Interesting Topic Thread

[mochine]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

The best way is to tell them face to face and make it clear without belittling them and there is no right time to tell them do it asap hopefully they will understand and respect your decision and move on (yeah right). People who can't handle being dumped are usually problematic people anyway. Don't tolerate them trying to blackmail you back into the relationship they don't respect you if they try it. I'd rather know someone doesn't want to be with me whatever their reasons so I can move on yes it hurts but that's part of life. We've all been dumped. You can't make someone like you when they're not into you. Why would they want to be with you anyway if you're not totally into them? After the deed is done no contact is best but sometimes things have to be finalized especially if you've been living together keep the contact focused on the task at hand don't enter or be tricked into discussions regarding the relationship be polite even when they try to press your buttons. Don't let them make you feel bad you're doing the right thing dumping people is not easy but in the end it's better for both parties involved you know that deep down. Anyway good luck

 

[Tania Admin]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

........or maybe I am wrong........again a conversation with a friend (lol not around the camp fire this time) but.......hmmmmm.......how do you break up a relation ship with as less "damage" as possible? Is it better to beat around the bush for ages? or just come out with it straight and blunt? or going through a lot of effort and try to make the other person breaking up with you?
I guess we all had to break up a relation ship at some stage in our life.........so.......what do you guys think is the "best" way to go about it?

R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

PS: LOL....one friend suggested the best way is not to get into one in the first place.....hmmmmmm....some truth in it.

I guess it depends on how long they have been in the relationship,,,but in my view honesty is always the best policy...

 

[Perth boy]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Mmmm now thats a hard one

If you are in a relationship that hasnt been going for a while it is a lot earier. Tell the truth and move on. Or be a wimp and send a text.

On the other hand say you were married, had kids, house, close friends, owe the bank a lot of money. Now it get hard.

What do you do then. Well I know a lady that Planed this and she is not the first time I have heard of this. Girls (not all) plan ahead, save money on the side, arrange to clean up finace, get the house sold with telling the hubby she wants to move to a new place (him not knowing with him). Keep copys of all bank statements etc. Meet with the lawer. All this was over almost two years.
Then when the time is rite and they have a bit of a tiff she is out. (or kicks him out)
Not the way I would do it but thats me.

 

[viper]

Re: Sports and Literature

Hospitality,home ec, science. Now my interest is sport but the cooking interest still remains.

 

[Tannerone]

Re: Sports and Literature

I liked Woodwork and Maths - I even did a Double Maths course instead of Maths and Chemistry (which I hated).

 

[Master Yoda]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Every relationship is unique multiplied by the infinite factors that cross each other in infinite ways.

Would be hard for a definite answer.

In my world I'd prefer not to anticipate such an event. That way I don't manifest it into tangibility. And I don't have to suffer about something that has not happened.

Guess I play that hand if I get dealt those cards.

 

[Tania Admin]

Re: Sports and Literature

I loved English,, I have always been an avid reader, words, their origins and how to use them have always fascinated me, ( I intend on studying Latin in the future for this reason), I was reading novels by the age of 9 and in year 7 underwent testing in which I came through with the reading abilities of a 2nd year university student. I have won writing competitions in the past though alas I never find the time to read or write much these days and sometimes literally crave these activities..I really am going to make myself find the time to do these things more.

 

[Saige]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Upfront, blunt but with understanding and compassion. Beating around the bush can give the wrong impression, like you are unsure of your decision therefore giving them false hope. Give space before you do the friend thing..give them time to grieve and move on in there own right!!

 

[svengali]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

The title says it all - there is no "nice" way of breaking up: However you go about it both parties are going feel hurt. Being dumped isn't nice, especially if you didn't see it coming, and wasting a portion of your life on a failed relationship is also sad.

Saige is right, as usual. If the relationship is beyond salvage and the decision to end it is made then carry it out quickly and decisively and move on, allowing the other party to do the same.

If you can't avoid further contact, ie with a workmate, then try to keep the work relationship civil and don't let your breakup sour the mood in the workplace.

 

[happytimes]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

I always believe to be as honest as you can, though that can back fire as well. I guess it depends on the type of guy he is, if he is understanding then you shouldn't have to many problems.
Though if your not sure how he will react you miight have to be carefull how you approach it, it's much better for both of you if you can break up and still be friends, but that doesn't happen much.
Your the only one who knows your partener best (if your talking about yourself) so i don't think anyone can give you the answer your looking for, just take the advice that your given and take it from there.
Either way i hope it all works out for you, no break up is easy but it doesn't have to be a full on argument, so i hope you can avoid that scenario. Good luck Rochelle.

 

[Rochelle]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........


I agree.......time has a lot to do with it. And sometimes it is not as clear-cut in the emotional section. You know something has changed but you can't put a finger on it.......or you don't know what you are actually feeling/not feeling any more. I know a few long term couples who decide to go to a Councillor instead of breaking up straight away. It takes two to tango and sometimes it is worth while to work out the issue/issues.
Happytimes....thanks for your concern but luckily I was not talking about myself.

I have to admit that I am not very good at breaking up and I think my total bluntness (inspired by insecurity and the need to always be the "good" person) did hurt a few former partners. LOL so as you can guess we didn't stay friends after. I think breaking-up can be done tactfully and with respect......grrrrr.....I am not sure if I have worked it out so far.

R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Rochelle]

Re: Sports and Literature

Would have loved woodwork. I am pretty good with my hands (lol in more than one sense :love10 But back in the old days boys did woodwork and the girls cooking and knitting without fail. We didn't have a choice. Honestly........cooking was my nightmare (still is by the way). I was the only girl who managed to burn pasta (badly) while boiling it. Result: 1) me doing overtime to get the burned pasta off the bottom of the pot. 2) no pasta in my household any more.

R.xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Tania Admin]

Re: Sports and Literature



Thank-you Sherry, I actually wanted to do business law and journalism as a career, unfortunately life didn't have that in store for me, leaving home at a young age (not my own fault, just a bad home life) I needed to work to support myself, and now I just wouldn't have the attention span to sit in a lecture hall, plus I'm an outdoors person now, not complaining though, I have had some awesome life experiences and will pursue my want of wanting to study Latin,,which I can do on-line with no time pressure xoxoxo

 

[colbb123]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

I agree.......time has a lot to do with it. And sometimes it is not as clear-cut in the emotional section. You know something has changed but you can't put a finger on it.......or you don't know what you are actually feeling/not feeling any more. I know a few long term couples who decide to go to a Councillor instead of breaking up straight away. It takes two to tango and sometimes it is worth while to work out the issue/issues. ...I am not sure if I have worked it out so far.

R.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

....good point Rochelle, all responses so far (IMHO all very valid points) have been based on the assumption that the mind, emotions, thoughts and feelings are clear and in alignment, Ie ''I know I want the relationship to end, but HOW?''. When any one of these complex processes is unclear, or if they are in conflict with one another, my experience has been that this scenario is by far more challenging. So many mixed messages for the poor old mind to process, make sense of and, for lack of a better phrase, ''resolve''. I was so glad when you mentioned the counselling because I'm continually surprised at how effective talking these things out is. For me, even if I talk to a wall, a seemingly miraculous cognitive shift occurs and clarity begins making it's welcomed appearance. Although, like the shampoo slogan ''it won't happen overnight but it will happen'' usually also applies to this scenario, a glimmer of clarity is proof enough for me that there is, in fact....clarity there. That's enough psuedo psycho BS from me for now lol.....and as they still say in school.....''Thank you for listening to my news''. ''It was our pleasure...treasure''. xx

 

[stevell]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Well if youre in a relationship,you should be honest to each other anyhow,and talking about it a.s.a.p and deal with as soon as youve decided it to yourself.
Rip it off like a plaster

 

[Gentleman]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

I would prefer the girl to be honest and not beat around the bush. In the past a few girls have told me all sorts of things which have caused me more pain and confusion. Had they been honest with what they told me it would have been much easier for both of us.

 

[JasRob]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

I'd rather know the ugly truth than being beat around the bush. Men are straightforward so if you don't have feelings anymore tell it to them straight. There's no point of holding on when feelings aren't there anymore. Breaking up is hard but its much harder than being fooled around for a long time, you're not just hurting the other person but your also hurting and fooling yourself.

 

[Rochelle]

The Voice......

It is a bit strange for me to send a post about a TV program mainly because I am not a big fan of TV and hardly watch it and because usually I have no idea what is on, hip or the most popular thing to watch.
As it happened I ended up watching "The voice" (guess you guys have seen it).........blind auditions of young talents judged by 4 famous singers. Apparently more people are watching "The Voice" than "Master Chef".

Now, I am just wondering what is the attraction behind it?
Is it the "blind audition" thing?
Seriously.......I am sure that the judges know who will be on stage and I am sure there is some agreement between them who is choosing whom, when and how. I don't think any of the interaction between them is spontaneous. It looks rehearsed to me.
However......maybe it is just me and my low tolerance for entertainment shows........or maybe just the fact that they try to sell the "same old" (let's find some talent) as a different concept (real blind auditions would be interesting).
What do you guys think?

R.xxxxxxx

 

[Rochelle]

Socccccccccceeeeeerrrrrrrrr

It has been a few days but I have to mention it......I can't help myself.
What a laugh........what a useless referee. Did somebody watch the soccer final Perth Glory vs Brisbane Roar??????
I still can't believe it......in the last 10 seconds after they already played 4 mins of added time........what a ridiculous and outrages decision.....and he got away with it. Everyone who knows something about soccer has to believe that the referee was either blind on both eyes or a Brisbane fan.
How about a third/video referee in the future.

R.xxxxxxxxxx

 

[wingman]

Re: Socccccccccceeeeeerrrrrrrrr

His wife works for Brisbane Roar Administration I thought I heard them mention on the radio. He's ref'd 12 games, in all 12 of them Brisbane has one.

 

[Happy2]

Re: Socccccccccceeeeeerrrrrrrrr

I think it is reflective of the game Or at least how its run in this country Not that I care for the game, Just that a WA team was involved
They even gave the man of the final award to a Roar player by mistake And awarded it to a Glory player in side the rooms

 

[Castro]

Re: Socccccccccceeeeeerrrrrrrrr

I'm sure sometime in future video technology will become applicable to football (I don't call it soccer by the way). It's such a hard decision to make as it may change the rhythm of the game. Bearing in mind football is the most popular sport the world over, from the back streets and slums of Africa, Brazil and all places like that to the classy stadiums found in Europe or Australia. So to maintain the sanctity of the game any change that should happen must not drastically alter the identity and form of the beloved game.

 

[oneofakind]

Re: Socccccccccceeeeeerrrrrrrrr

Hi Rochelle,

Did you read in the paper yesterday that the Ref's big boss has backed the decision. WHAT A CROCK !!!

Also on the replay Berisha is offside. What a joke, I for one will not be renewing my membership, I can contribute to the absolute joke of a league that the Aleague is.

Ok I have had my rant, Hello Everyone :-0

 

[WRXXXR]

Re: The Voice......

I'm with you. I rarely watch tv and definitely not any reality shows but I'm really into the Voice as well. Maybe it's because it's more genuine, I dunno.

But I must say Delta is a perfect 10. She's incredibly attractive.

 

[svengali]

Re: The Voice......

Yep, love Delta but I am over talent quests and cooking shows so it is a thumbs down from me.

 

[Gentleman]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

I'd rather know the ugly truth than being beat around the bush. Men are straightforward so if you don't have feelings anymore tell it to them straight. There's no point of holding on when feelings aren't there anymore. Breaking up is hard but its much harder than being fooled around for a long time, you're not just hurting the other person but your also hurting and fooling yourself.

Well said. Take note ladies!

 

[billybones]

Re: The Voice......

I watched some of it the first Sunday it was on, now I have nothing against blind people but did she really have to mention the fact she was blind then and there or was she asked to mention it to boast ratings.
A friend at work also told me that one of the judges addressed a contestant by their first name even though they are meant to have no idea who they are, so how much of this show is rehearsed??

 

[TheCock]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Honestly I would feel like a twaty twit if a girl lead me on and I didnt notice the signs. If he is smart and mature (like moi) hed go ok she doesnt want me and move on instead of wasting everybodys time. Just say it! Maybe not on his birthday.....

 

[WRXXXR]

Re: ahhhhhh no way to do it nicely.........

Dont do what someone very close to me does...

He deliberately cheats on them and makes sure they find out so they dump him lol! Crazy boy that one, but the girls he dates are a little on the weird side.

 

[Happy2]

Re: The Voice......

Are you cynical people trying to ruin my TV viewing?
Surely its called reality television because its real.
Another illusion shattered I hope your all happy !!
Ah well back to my imaginary world of work & taxes and all that putting food on the table requires