Puns for people with higher IQ ... go on add some more ... you like them really!

S

Steve Bond

:notworthy
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu - The same mustard as before.

Practice safe eating - Always use condiments.

Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.

What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give-away.)

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion .

If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia - the LAN down under.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted - Taint yours and taint mine.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.

Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. :eek:ccasion14

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billybones

Thrillseeker
Legend Member
Points
7
You will always find things in the last place you looked because if you didn`t you would keep looking.
 

ecchimiki

Gold Member
Points
0
I read that as "Punts for people with higher IQ..." and here I thought it was all about geek sex. :)
 

Happy2

Legend Member
Points
15
Not sure if I posted this before If so apologies in advance

Mahatma Ghandi as you know walked barefoot all the time
Which caused a impressive set of calluses on his feet
He also ate very little, which made him frail
And he also had a odd diet due to prison and a life on the road
So suffered bad breath Which all made him a....

A Super Callussed Fragile Mystic
Plagued by halitosis

(To be sung to the tune from Mary Poppins)
 
N

Naughty Thoughts

...I thought it was all about geek sex.

Geek sex: awkwardly glancing at each other across the room whilst steadfastly refusing to go near the other.
 
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