Help Help Helppppp!!! Menopause

[pugsley]

I am wondering if any of you older ladies out there can help.My partner has been going through menapause for a few years now. She has become erratic and unpredictable. Hot flushes waking up at odd times in the night and not wanting sex. I am at my wits end...Should i seek a bit on the side?{a man must have his meat}or let nature take its course? I can understand now why males need to have a partner at least ten years there younger...have tried everything from tablets to romantic weekends...

 

[DeeDee]

I am yet to get to that stage in my life..have you sugeested that she go along and see her GP about it there are a lot of things available for women nowadays for menopause HRT (hormone replacement thearpy)even tho some don't go for that there are for's and againist it depends who you are talking too but there are also heaps of natural products available too. Can be a trying time for both... The man needs to be very understanding.

 

[pugsley]

mating season

;DYeah thanks Dee done all that. Its unfair really cos the older i get the more i want .... i still feel like a young man. Perhaps its the mans fault....nature takes its course both parties should feel the same but thats not the case... With summer coming a long the short skirts and the scent of women makes.. it all the harder excuse the pun.....help me somebody its like a prison sentence ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

[WAcowgirl]

If your not happy then you should be honest with your partner...i dont believe there is any excuse for cheating. if your not happy then at least have the common decency to tell your partner.

Maybe its something your doing thats putting her off...an open and honest dicussion is needed...that or bite the bullet and tell her you want to finish it..then your free to move on!

 

[sioxie]

Hi Pugsley

Have you found a solution yet?

Have dealt with alot of women in my job that come to me seeking advice on menopause. It can be a very distressing time for a woman and i think as her partner you should b a bit more understanding.
She has to accept a change in her life over which she may feel she has very little control over. It has been described to me as it is like losing part of yourself. (ps i have not experienced it myself so only going on what others have told me).
Some women feel physically less attractive, worried over how their partners are going to react. Its a time you need to be understanding and supporting her not thinking of going off and cheating!
The change in hormone levels can be very extreme but they eventually settle down over a few years. She also has to face the fact that her reproductive cycle has finished and that can be hard for some women as well.
I am a firm believer in hormone replacement therapy. Women can get an implant in your lower abdomen by your GP that last up to 5 years and most women swear by them! Is only a small procedure which takes about 10 mins to insert and they are tiny. So its not only only tablets that are available. PLus as Dee mentioned there are herbal alternatives which suit some people.
My advice is for you both to go and see an understanding GP preferably a woman and talk it over together.

Let us know how u get on

 

[Chennay aka Shae]

Many of my clients are married and just not getting any, or not getting enough, or just having rather bland sex.
I believe it's just a phase and if you love her it can't hurt to seek a WL for the mean time.
After all, if that's how she's responding to you ... and the GP and late night chats just aren't working then go forth!
Shae xxx

 

[svengali]

I was on the verge of agreeing with Shae but then I thought of the downside (isn't there always one?:)

If you see a W.L. she will almost certainly be younger and prettier than your wife. To put it crudely, you will be parking your 1973 Holden and spinning around the block in the latest, or at least a far more recent, model.

It will (hopefully) be fun and an eye-opener to what you have been missing out on but, like the salted peanuts, can you stop with just one? It is highly probable that you will want more of the same and more often and, sooner or later, your marriage will suffer, even if only through the leakage of funds.

If you do choose the W.L. route, and I would not condemn you for one minute for doing so, at least admit to yourself that, yes, you are cheating on your wife. If you can live with that and the possible consequences of getting caught and/or putting the skids under your relationship, go for it and good luck.

 

[sioxie]

Many of my clients are married and just not getting any, or not getting enough, or just having rather bland sex.
I believe it's just a phase and if you love her it can't hurt to seek a WL for the mean time.
After all, if that's how she's responding to you ... and the GP and late night chats just aren't working then go forth!
Shae xxx

Shae to say it cant hurt to see a working girl behind ur partners back is very naive....it was the result of my finding a credit card receipt that my husband had used to visit a "working girl" that destroyed my marriage....is was just something i could never forgive him for...so try telling that to my children that it was all abit of harmless fun when it broke up the family home.....
I understand that you are coming from a very biased point of view and are probably looking at it from a business prospective and future clientele but believe me there are just no grounds for cheating in my eyes...he made no mention of the fact that he was unhappy, we had a fantastic sex life so all for the sake of half an hour our lives were changed forever....

 

[WAcowgirl]

I tend to agree with Sven and Sioxie...cheating is cheating, seeing a working lady is just an expensive way to do it...im of the believe if your not happy then get out, dont fuck around behind your partners back...you CHOOSE who you marry and just cos she is going thru the natural course of her life, doesnt mean you can just 'trade her in'...the man in th relationship also changes, bet your not as hot as the man she first married as well...make it work or get out...thats my position on it.

 

[michael5139]

Many of my clients are married and just not getting any, or not getting enough, or just having rather bland sex.
I believe it's just a phase and if you love her it can't hurt to seek a WL for the mean time.
After all, if that's how she's responding to you ... and the GP and late night chats just aren't working then go forth!
Shae xxx

no offence but this is a steaming pile of crap.

I was in this position a last year and took the course of action your suggesting. Result? Almost lost my marriage, suicidal depression due to breech of trust, $260 for STI chec for me, $260 for STI check for my wife, 12 weeks of marriage councelling (so far) at $100 a week, 8 weeks of psyc visits for me (so far) at $190 a week, 8 weeks of psyc visits for my wife (so far) at $190 a week.....so around $3600 so far, plus what I paid the ladys

Of course not everybody goes this way, but if you TRUELY love your wife then this could be you too. Get some professional councelling (from a councellor, not your GP)and work things out with your wife, it will save you alot of guilt and heatache later on

 

[Chennay aka Shae]

Yes, I do understand both sides of the fence.
Although, to assure all my view is definitely not biased. I have only been in the business for a short time, and I generally go on personal experiences, past relationship experiences, discussions with friends and family.
My older sister, for example, obviously not knowing what I do to pay the bills has told her partner that if he ever needs more or wants to try something new and not with her to at least pay a professional for it. That way, it would hurt her less.
My firends have had their partners cheat on them with some random girl at a bar/club. They too would have preferred it have at least been a Wl because at least they know WL get STI & STD checks at LEAST every 3 months.
All relationships are different, but I personally and professionally have found that is usually better to see a WL than cheat with some chick you've picked up somewhere, be it out at a venue or online.
I used to work as a receptionist for an international company's civil engineering office and met many wealthy business men, one of whom took me out on a date and explained he was married but his wife was at home (overseas) and he was here. He had wants ... not that I satisfied them because I didn't go there ... but the fact is that it is more common than people seem to realise... or want to know.

Ask any madame, or WL, married men generally make up about 75% of the clientele "population".

Even as a stripper, not just as a WL, most men who came into the strip clubs or bars that I was a skimpy at ... had wives to go home too.

It is unfortunate that you almost lost your marriage and it is costing you a lot financially but at least you have managed to save your relationship and willing and prepared to do anything to do so.

Some people do as you have and still see WL's.

I don't endorse cheating, I have lost a friend due to the fact that she didn't listen to my warnings when she was seeing a guy and she feel pregnant so he would marry her and now she's married to a cheater and has his kid. He still cheats but he tells the girls he meets that he is married and just wants a good time. I don't approve of it at all.

I certainly wouldn't want my husband to cheat on me, or think of it, so I generally have a rule of thumb and that is to satusfy him to the best of my ability ... old fashioned thinking. Although, if he did cheat and was truly sorry and didn't actually want to leave me then I'd forgive him. As long as the other woman knows she was just a fuck and nothing more.

My personal opinion, but hey, I generally go against the grain anyhow ...