Have you ever had to hide???

[billybones]

Have you ever had to hide your feelings from someone you care about??
I was chatting with a close female friend last night who believes that her b/f may be cheating on her. The problem is that from what she has told me he probably is but I don`t want to be the one to be wrong if he`s not.
The other problem is I have feelings for this friend but the good news is that she lives in Hong Kong and the chances of us getting together are very slim.

 

[JasRob]

Well if you think of what you think it is then go on spill the beans. True friends would tell the truth. It might hurt at first but at least you're being honest. Sometimes you may feel that you're wrong because you have that special something for her, but if you put that feelings aside and just be her friend, do you really think her bf cheated on her? and if so if you're in her shoes what would you want your friend would do?

 

[Tania Admin]

My question being, "Are you a friend of the supposed cheating partner as well?"

 

[WRXXXR]

If you know 100% that he's cheating then its a no brainer.

If not, dont get involved and in this case i cant see how telling her how you feel will result in anything positive.

Once your in the friend zone its hard to get out

 

[billybones]

I have no reason to get involved in what happens between them because I actually don`t know and I won`t be letting her know my feeelings because I think it would only make matters worse.
I`ve never met her partner so I can`t really judge him either.

 

[Bluegrass9]

I believe some things you should not take part in.
If I knew someone was playing up I would keep out of it.
If I learnt my wife was playing up and yet we still were having great sex I would be very careful how to let her know.
There may be the chance she is enjoying our sex more now because she has another sex partner.

 

[svengali]

This one is fairly straight forward (for a change).

She is suspicious and confided her suspicions to a trusted friend. It sounds as if you know only what she told you and have formed an opinion based only on that with no way of knowing for sure. I believe she only wanted a sounding board for her ideas and, in all probability, she has joined the dots the same way you did.

You did the right thing by providing a friendly ear and leaving her to draw her own conclusions.

 

[Tania Admin]

This one is fairly straight forward (for a change).

She is suspicious and confided her suspicions to a trusted friend. It sounds as if you know only what she told you and have formed an opinion based only on that with no way of knowing for sure. I believe she only wanted a sounding board for her ideas and, in all probability, she has joined the dots the same way you did.

You did the right thing by providing a friendly ear and leaving her to draw her own conclusions.

Very smart words Svengali.

I will also add, that if her suspicions are proved (by herself) to be correct, don't go jumping into anything with her. It will be a mourning and healing process for her. Be there for her, but also give her space. If something comes of it, you will know it's mutual and genuine, not just soothing and from a time of vulnerability for her.